That feeling
by burnlikecandles
Summary: I felt it two years ago, but he never saw me. Two years later, I think he sees me, and he feels it too. ExB Rated M. Stephenie Meyer owns.


The first time I saw him was two years ago. In line at the university library Starbucks. He was cute. Yeah, cute. And fucking hot. And beautiful. Tall with bright green eyes. I want to kiss him. I almost fell over, not paying attention to where I was going. I got that feeling. That feeling in my stomach just imagining what it would be like to be with him. Him, who never even saw me. I knew my daydreams were ridiculous but they were mine and no one had to know.

I never saw him again. I hoped I would, but it never happened. Until a few weeks ago. It was coincidence that he happened to know my friend Rose. They went to high school together. We were out at a bar celebrating her 21st birthday when I saw him. Him. The same him from Starbucks two years ago. Just like two years ago, I got that feeling. I can't even explain it. It's there though, and it hasn't gone away since that night.

He walked in and greeted everyone at the table. Fuck, he's hot. In those jeans, In that shirt, and that sexy as fuck hair. Introductions were made. _Edward_. Edward. _Hi, Edward. I'm Bella. Kiss me?_ Of course I never said that. I am completely incompetent when it comes to the opposite sex. I had one boyfriend in high school. That was four years ago. But thats beside the point.

Anyway, I don't know how, or why, or when it happened, but at some point that night, in the bar, in a corner booth, he kissed me. _Edward_. Edward kissed me. The feeling that I got when I saw him? Yeah, that was nothing compared to his kiss. I felt it in my toes, at the tips of my fingers. My heart was racing so hard and fast, I though I'd faint. Nothing in the world compared to this kiss.

We made out the rest of the night. It was hot and fast, then sweet and slow. And so sexy. I knew I'd never get enough. At one point one of us pulled away. Was it him? Was it me? It had to be him because there's no way I would stop this. I wanted more.

Then, it hit me. We were making out. In a bar. There's no way he could take me seriously. Did we even have any semblance of a conversation? Did I screw this up before it even started? I looked into his eyes. Those bright green eyes. His forehead against mine. _Hi_. He smiled. I died. His friends were ready to leave he said. He asked for my number. I gave it to him. He said he'd text me later. I said okay.

It's been three weeks. And I'm going to his place tonight.

He did text me the next day and for a few days after the night at the bar. We talked about meaningless things. Television shows, movies, music. Our favorites. At one point the messages stopped after four days of constant texting.

Had I done something wrong? Did he find someone else? What happened? He invaded every thought I had. It was impossible to focus on anything but my phone's inbox. I had finals the next week and he was messing with my head. I tried to forget about him but it was difficult. I even called Rose to ask about him. Her words gave me hope. Apparently he asked for me too. He planned to ask me out after finals are over.

Now I'm here at his apartment. Knocking on the door. So fucking nervous. And excited. And what's going to happen? He invited me to his house to watch a Christmas movie since Christmas was this weekend. And now the door was opening. And fuck, he is so sexy. In his jeans and black t-shirt. And barefoot. I speak.

"Hey."

"Hi Bella. Come on in."

I walk in and he smiles at me. And I melt. He says he has the movie set up already in the living room and to make myself comfortable on the couch while he goes to get snacks.

He comes back. Starts the movie. Scoots over closer to me. Puts his arm around me. And I can't concentrate. It's too much. I've only spoken to him in person once and we made out ninety percent of the time. Does he expect me to watch the movie when he's so close? I know if I turn my head just a little and lean up I can put my lips against him. I don't do it though. I couldn't.

The movie ends. He looks over at me, "Do you want the grand tour?" I laugh, "Yeah sure."

At some point in this "grand tour" we're in his bedroom. I hear the warning bells somewhere in the back of my mind, but I don't even care. We're sitting on his bed. Then he kisses me, and its heaven. I can't think of anything else but his lips and the way his hands feel on my hips and under my shirt. The way his gorgeous hair feels as I run my hands through it. I don't know how it happened. Which seems to happen a lot when I'm around him. I don't know how things happen, they just do. But, my shirt is off and his shirt is halfway off. I'm laying back on his bed and he fits perfectly between my legs.

And then he pulls away, looks me in the eye, and says "do you want to?" _Yes please_.

He is so beautiful and hot, and the way he kisses me and touches me, it would be impossible to say no. I whisper, "yes," and he kisses me again. And fuck, its so good.

My jeans come off and his do too. And all that's left is underwear. His hands move up my sides to my shoulders and he pulls away, kisses my lips softly then moves down to my neck and I moan. He kiss my shoulder as he pulls my bra straps down. I want this so bad, I help him out. I reach behind and unhook my bra. Which is now somewhere on the floor. My underwear comes off. His boxers are off. He rolls on the condom and he's back between my legs. He kisses my lips and pulls back, "are you sure?"

"Yes."

Then he's inside. And we both moan. And it's been years since I've done this. It feels like my first time again, except no, it's not. And he feels so good. He waits for me to adjust and I wrap my legs around his waist. Then he pulls out and thrusts back in. Fuck, it feels great. He kisses me again. I can't get enough of his kisses. Nothing has ever felt like this. I don't know him. We've barely spoken to each other. But I don't want this to end. Ever. He's kissing my neck. And my hands are in his hair. He whispers how good I feel and all I can do is moan.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes. And his mouth is open as he thrusts. And he might make me come. I feel something there. He must see I'm there. I feel his hand between us and fireworks. I'm over the edge. And wow. He keeps going and he's there too. He falls with my name a breathless whisper on his lips. _Bella_. I look at his face and those bright green eyes that I first saw two years ago. And I hope I'll never forget his face in this moment. Even if this is all it is. If all I get is this one night. I'll have that image in my mind for the rest of my life.

He collapses on top of me, but quickly moves off so he won't crush me. I feel empty. I've never felt this way. I want him. I want him again. And I want him everyday. I think about what we just did and I'm scared. I should regret this. I basically just fucked him on the first date. I don't even know if this was a date. I feel his arms on me as he pulls me close. I look at him. He gives me that sweet smile and I can't help but smile back. We talk about everything and nothing for hours after. And he asks me to spend the night. I want to, but I shouldn't. I've never done this before. This college hook-up thing. But I know about the walk of shame the next morning and I don't want that. Even if all I really want is to stay in his arms in this bed forever. I turn him down. I'll be to embarrassed in the morning.

He walks me to my car and tells me he had a great time. I nod. I'm afraid. I think this might be all this is. And I'm more afraid that I'm okay with it. I want more. But if all I get is this, I'll be okay. "Goodnight," I say as I open the door and turn away. He grabs my hand and tells me he wants to see me again. Does he want to see me as a friend or more? Does he just want sex?

He must see the questions in my eyes because there at two in the morning, under a street lamp, he cups my face, kisses my lips, and says, "I know we barely know each other, and I know this looks like something else, but I want to see you again. I can't get you off my mind. Your beautiful face, and your sweet smile. Can I take you out on a date? I have this feeling, here in my gut. And it's you. It's a feeling I get when I see you or think about you. And I don't ever want it to go away. So Bella, please go out with me tomorrow night."

I reach up and hold his hands to my face. I nod. "Yes." He smiles and I smile. And I get the feeling and he gets it too. And it's so good. And he's so good. And we're so good.


End file.
